Once you're in the "secure" area of an airport, you are stuck until your flight. If you get hungry, you have your choice of expensive, disgusting food. If you get bored, you have your choice of tabloids and Oprah magazines. If you get really bored, check out the bathrooms. It's likely that there is a pervert or a senator in there that'd be more than happy to cop a feel.
My most recent experience included a delayed flight, 4 attempts to land the plane, and a sprint to make my connecting flight. Not to mention flight attendants that obviously had nothing but contempt for the passengers and a captain that sounded slightly drunk over the PA. Overall, it was all that I had hoped for and more! It was just the right balance of inefficiency and anxiety. To top it off, the driver for the shuttle we took back to our car seemed to be drinking buddies with our captain.
Why do we travel by plane? Because we have no alternative!! I bring you pneumatic tube travel.
Just think of it: You crawl into a padded capsule and strap in. It's that easy!! once the infrastructure is in place, it'd be entirely carbon neutral. It would also create a whole new industry for jobs. You can add this to the list of reasons why I should rule all of existence. This and my plan to safely hurl toxic waste into the sun using an enormous trebuchet. I must mention that this idea may never have been planted in my all-powerful intellect if it hadn't been for my sister's high school physics project. I mention this, because she is one of the 2 people who read this blog.
Anyway, Marcel Marceau thinks it's a fine idea, and that's all the approval that this genius needs...
1 comment:
What, no props to your sister for planting the trebuchet idea in your mind? Do high school science projects mean nothing to you??
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